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Entries in funny (6)

Monday
Mar012010

The 21st Century Cardboard

Bilibo - the 21st Century Cardboard. Features include "stimulates imaginative play", "almost indestructible", and "open-ended toy provides hours of fun play".

From: http://www.amazon.com/review/REX873G3JTYB6/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm

Well, it's intimidating to write a bad review for the Bilibo. First, you need a thick skin, because it seems that a sure way to get "unhelpful" votes on Amazon is to utter disrespect for the sacred Bilibo. Second, even anonymously, a bad review can't help but come off as perhaps some sort of indication that your child is just lacking in the "imagination" department. Who wants to be perceived as having an unimaginative child? 

Well, my flame suit firmly in place, I respectfully dissent. When the Bilibo arrived in our house as a surprise present for our 3.5 year old, my wife looked at me as though I were a bit off. "No no no," I protested. "You don't understand! This is the most talked about toy on the Internet. What looks like a simple oddly shaped upside down German World War II helmet is really the key to unlocking our child's innermost happiness." Despite several skeptical glances, I pleaded: "Please trust me. Apparently, kids just love them, even if adults cannot completely understand it." "It is," I declared triumphantly, "the cardboard box of the 21st century." "But," my wife replied, "we already have cardboard boxes. Some of which date from the 21st century." Shaking my head knowingly and with a sad looking glance, firmly secure in the knowledge that 100 five-star reviews can't be wrong, I thought, "you'll just have to wait and see." My biggest concern was that my wife would feel somehow she was not in touch with our child when she saw the glee on our child's face when the Bilibo was gloriously displayed and our child's imagination fully engaged and unlocked! 

On the appointed day, the gift was delivered. Ready for the magic that was sure to unfold, we placed it in the middle of the room. "What is it?" "Why, it's a Bilibo." "What does it do?" "Whatever you like, Sweetheart. Whatever you want it to be, it can be." "Can I put my books in it?" "Yes! Of course. You can put your books in it!" 

Well, the books are still there. In the Bilibo. In the corner of the room. We took them out briefly for some spinning attempts and some other guided Bilibo activities that were received more as a chore than as playtime. So we put the books back in. They don't fit so well. The books are square and rectangular. The Bilibo is round. As a book holder, I would only rate it as average or maybe slightly below. 

A cardboard box would hold more books, I think.

Wednesday
May132009

Awesome Google Finance Discussion

Discussions for OceanFreight Inc. (OCNF)

muzz...@gmail.com
In just about a week I lost half of my bankroll. Between commissions
and a nasty hit from OCNF stock, and now with CVM on a downturn I
need a big turn-around, otherwise I'm toast. I've got to be very very
careful from now on. I still feel OCNF should pay me the .77 dividend
after all it's posted on the GOOGLE finance chart, that would help out
a lot..

srt4r...@gmail.com
[some advice]

 

 

muzz...@gmail.com
I know but CARRIER said I should sell my 100 shares of OCNF and buy
CVM, and I would make a lot of money. I'm not listening to him
anymore.

ac36...@yahoo.com
[some advice]

 

 

carrier...@gmail.com
Muzzie, OCNF will not pay a dividend until 2015 they relased that
document a while back... If you did your research before you bought
OCNF, you most likley would not have bought it for the dividend
because there is none, and will be none. This stock is now trash! Im
sorry that you think CVM is on a downturn... But the downside risk is
to .25 and the upside risk is to $1 . Now if you want a greater risk
to reward ratio than that, may I suggest these stocks NM CPE WRES CEP
UYG FBR and if you really want to get risky BCON PAE.

muzz...@gmail.com
To arse36...@yahoo.com, You also should have listened to CARRIER,
take a look at OCNF pre-market, All you who have been bragging about
the multi K shares you own and making fun of my 100 shares, do the
math and see how much you're going to lose today I'll bet you wish
you only had 100 shares. My advice to you guys is to go on E-BAY and
type in "CRYING TOWELS" in the search box.

bmy1..@aol.com
LOL............ Ask your monny to change your diaper.

I leave tips for waitresses after dinner bigger than your 100
shares.......... Get a job! Save some cash! And then come back to the
stock market with a half way decent bank roll. You're waisting your
time with what your doing.

muzz...@gmail.com
I bet; you're probably a waitress at that diner. OCNF still going down.
I got out at $1.6, you should have listened.

rickharrison
are you seriously whining about losses and you only had 100 shares?

studwilli...@gmail.com
It's not a loss until you sell.

carrier...@gmail.com
It's not nice to make fun of Muzz because of the little bit invested!
Maybe $100 is all he has to invest...

muzz...@gmail.com
CARRIER, I checked out all of the stocks you listed, every one of them
are DOWN, don't you know any good ones, I'm
looking for stock that goes UP. I want to make money not lose money. I
got hammered with OCNF, I don't want that to happen again, It would
wipe me right out..

muzz...@gmail.com
That's correct; about $100 left but I started with $211and look how
fast I went through that. That's why I keep telling you guys I need a
good stock so I can make myself whole again.

greg.o.roo...@gmail.com
muzz, you make it interesting to be involved in this company's stock.
it makes things way more interesting.

everyone else, you keep it up too, it is entertaining.

bmy1...@aol.com
idiots.

 

 

 

 

Ah yes. Internet forum humor.

 

Monday
Apr132009

You Don't Need to Know That

Overheard in a cubicle.


B is trying to help debug A's code, and is soliciting some explanation.

B: "What does this chunk of code do?"
A: "You don't need to know that, because I don't understand it myself."
B: "..."

Sunday
May042008

Cookie Monster Meditates

Me love cookies. Me tend to get out of control when me see cookies. Me know it not natural to react so strongly to cookies, but me have weakness. Me know me do wrong. Me know it isn't normal. Me see disapproving looks. Me see stares. Me hurt inside.


When me get back to apartment, after cookie binge, me can't stand looking in mirror—fur matted with chocolate-chip smears and infested with crumbs. Me try but me never able to wash all of them out. Me don't think me is monster. Me just furry blue person who love cookies too much. Me no ask for it. Me just born that way.


Me was thinking and me just don't get it. Why is me a monster? No one else called monster on Sesame Street. Well, no one who isn't really monster. Two-Headed Monster have two heads, so he real monster. Herry Monster strong and look angry, so he probably real monster, too. But is me really monster?


Me thinks me have serious problem. Me thinks me addicted. But since when it acceptable to call addict monster? It affliction. It disease. It burden. But does it make me monster?


To read more, click on the original article Cookie Monster Searches Deep Within Himself and Asks: Is Me really Monster? by Andy F. Bryan.

Thursday
Aug232007

Strange stray thoughts about Names

A stray thought got me thinking - A name is supposed to represent a person, and even though it cannot possibly be an accurate portrayal of that person, a name evokes a lot of emotions/perceptions (e.g., Bush, Osama, etc.). What if the name describes an opposite trait, or is not even wrong. (I apologize, but I had to use my latest favourite phrase somehow - even if it's incorrectly used). Can you think of ironic names?


  • a guy named Christian but is not christian, and is [insert opposing religion]
  • a girl named Jewel but is not a jewel (eupherism for other, perhaps more appropriate, phrases)
  • a person named [Month of Year] (e.g., June) but is not born in that month. "Hi, I'm June. I was born in December"
  • a girl named Joy but is not very joyful. "Hi, I'm Joy. Go away".

I suspect last names are the easiest to be "ironic". For example, "smart" as a last name. Think of the possibilities. And of course "carpenter" is also a fairly common last name. "Hi, I'm the carpenter, Mr. Carpenter" or "Hi, I'm the butcher, Mr. Carpenter".

Another observation is related to a well-respected professor named Tan Chew Lim in the School of Computing, NUS. Each part of his name (Tan, Chew, Lim) is a possible surname. My name can also be decomposed similarly.

Update: One addition by wc - Roger Director, the director.

Update 2: Roger Director is a producer, not a director. (Hence the "irony")

Friday
Jul202007

It's True!

Q: What is an American University?
A: This is a strange place where Russian professors teach Chinese students in English.
- post in Slashdot