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Setting Goals

I am torn. Allow me to elaborate (in a roundabout way).

Today my investment portfolio reached a milestone. Granted that this was an arbitrarily set goal, but it made me reflect on my innate nature to set goals. I cannot remember when I started to do this, but I definitely remember wanting to graduate as soon as possible from my undergraduate program, which involved getting degrees in Pure Mathematics and Computer Science in less than three years. It was not an easy goal, but I tend to persist in my pursue of meeting objectives. So it must have started at least in my early adulthood, but I always did try to do my best in the latest fancy since young. (Old friends can comment on some of my absurd obsessions, but please refrain yourself.)

I realize that I implicitly set goals for my personal life and career: I want to be able to send my children to any college they want. I want to be able to retire with my wife without requiring any support from anybody (or at least I do not expect someone to do so).

And so on.

Which leads me to why I am torn. As life marches on, I (occasionally) realize that many of such goals, given a sufficient long time horizon, are meaningless and I should not be spending an inordinate time of them if it detracts me from the more important aspects of life. Namely, truly living. And before you shout, "wannabe spiritual guru!", I do have a practical outlook (at this point in time), and am not convinced I am fated for a life of Enlightenment pursuit without regards to the mundane realities of day to day life.

And yet, without my earlier sacrifices, I cannot perceive myself being where I am now and, well, honestly, meeting most of my objectives (or being close enough to them). In any case, I realize (as I apt to do so from time to time) that I am in a fortunate situation. And I am thankful.

Maybe I should just shut up and go back to my meditation.

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